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Times of Change

Heading down an empty road
Feel the winds of change around me
I stop to see the world as it is now
Everything around me
Before I continue on my journey
Tears down my face
Some things are better left behind
But others simply can’t be taken with
No matter how much love we have
Love cannot stop time.

I Chose Black

When God painted you
He left your heart undone.
Waiting for a paintbrush
And you came to me.
Trusting canvas

I had my colors.
I had so many.
I could have chosen any color
But I chose black

A layer done
So dark I can’t see clearly
Where are the lines?
You left me none
So I continued.
Layer by layer
Why are you so far away?

My love for you
A jar of paint.
Any color would have filled you
And I chose black.

Such a willing sponge.
I had so much to give.
Why didn’t I chose
More carefully?
Any color
Any color
I could have loved you any color
But I chose black.

Before I Fall

Hold me closer
Before I fall.
With your heart close to mine
Why do I feel so distant?
I look away
Roaring in the back of my mind
So many thoughts
So many nights
Lying awake in bed
With you beside me…
Patiently waiting
I finally feel at rest.

Nothing is impossible with Love.

Crossing the Line

Crossing the line
In the sand.
And who drew it?
I feel myself
Slipping outside of myself
And then through it.
I reach out….
But the sky
Is much to far away.
Who gave you that power?

Whisper that I'm Real

Just a whisper
In a house made of glass.
Never heard.
The voice takes shape
And holds a much larger hand.
As the glass shatters.
The whisper fades
Until one day seen
Large brown eyes
Look into a soul
Far older than her years.
The whisper takes shape once again
To reach out
Tall ears and a shy nose.
Brown eyes call to her and she asks
Am I real now?

The Dance

Dance dance
Little marionette
Dance to forget the pain.
The pain isn’t real
The things around us
In this decedent world.
Capitalistic pigs!
Oh how you’ve changed Her.
And now
All that remains is the dance.

Life Blood

Mouth wide open
In ecstasy
I take in
Your warm lifeblood
An erotic caress
Your pain
Washes down my face.
I open myself
Every part
My soul
And you take a piece of me.
Silently I scream

You Don't want to See Me Right Now

Don’t look at me!
I turn away.
My mind
Dark and cluttered
Like the dust that clings
The cold closes in.
My clothes
Total disregard
Outward appearance
A glimpse
Of an unquiet mind.
Heart of despair
I cling to myself
And dream
Of a far away place
For my head
Where I can hide
And leave it all behind.
You don’t want to see me right now.

No Hope

The dark night
Creeps in closer
I turn on the light
I startle
To see the face
That jumps out
The scream
Never leaves my throat.
That smile
Is the last thing I see.

Lost Innocence

Life is a game
That time burns.
In the blink of an eye
What was once sweet
Turns hard and cold
All play forgotten.


I lay down my life
And you watched me die.
I stretched out my arms
And you said goodbye.
What do you want from me?
...And someone else answered.
A stirring within
A change
A sigh
A wonderful release.
Newborn Butterfly.
And I get a second chance.
Innocence stirring.
I feel my heart.
No beat.
And I look behind….
And I see the mess you left
Of me.

Drawing the Veil Away

Dark cool cruel emotion.
Like a veil
A shadow on my heart
My arms open wide for your

I hunger and you satisfy…

Drawing the curtain open
You see me
Raw naked emotion
Hidden beneath this Veil.

And you don’t recoil…

Peeling back the layers
I invite you
And you welcome the
Warm skin
And heat.
Melting away my

How I have longed for the
Someone worthy would come
And it would be safe
To draw the veil away.

Shattered Dreams


Like broken glass


I draw the line

With my blood



The point

In which I should.

You bring out the worst in me.

I let you do this to me.

I stand


And try to pick up the pieces.

Clinging to the Pain

In this world
Of millions
I sit among many
All alone.
These thoughts
Are meant for none other
No one
Will ever understand
My suffering.
I cling to this pain I feel
It is all I have left.

Golden Comfort

Fallen from grace

I left paradise for you

Scorned in this imperfect world.

I cling to the shred of humanity

You left me

Golden is my




The only


I still have

For you.


I cling to its soothing




Lonely is this hate I feel.

Barrier's so Thin

Summer grass and flowers

Blow in the hot wind.

I see you standing

Just as I did that long hot summer.

Your laughter and smile.

A tribute to

Your strength of love and grace.


I cannot help but think

As you leave this place

That I will see you there

When we meet again.

In a better world

That parallels this one.

Barriers so thin between

I feel as though

I can almost reach you there.


Long bike rides

Sweat pours down my face.

You bike ahead of me

Weaving stories of your passion

Civil Air Patrol

The paths at Taft Park

Grass growing between the cracks

…Of a neglected park.


We didn’t care.


I cannot help but think

As you leave this place

That I will see you there

When we meet again.

In a better world

That parallels this one.

Barriers so thin between

I feel as though

I can almost reach you there.


And that smile and grace

That never left your face

I know I’ll see it there.


Love like Ruby Red Rain

Love like the sun
From afar
Pale porcelain skin
Under ruby red rain.
Touch me now.
Your lips say.
A cruel far away look
Tells more
I’m drawn closer.
Too late…
Your prison becomes mine
As you fold me
…in your cold dark embrace.

Somewhere I can Rest

Like a heavy laden blanket

Of unrest

The heat wells up inside

And I cannot escape

Its lethargy


I lay here in distress

I get up again

Pacing back and forth

I cannot shake it

Lovingly it wraps me

A dark and cruel lover

Smother me again


I try to shake you.


If this is all

I am capable of feeling

I will take you

To the dark and empty place

With cold and lonely comfort

Somewhere I can rest

Where we can reminisce

All those past regrets

Things I cannot change

Haunting me again.


I feel you enclose me

Your dark and lonely fingers

Lovingly caress

How could I

Have ever considered

Leaving you again?








Let us leave this place

To somewhere I can rest

Cold and lonely comfort

Snowflakes on my chest

Melt away my heart

Cold comfort

Lay down here beside me

On this snowy desolation

I call home

Somewhere I can rest.


Join me here again

We can reminisce

Where I can enjoy your love in comfort

Take me to that place

You and I alone

No one has to know.

This secret that I hide.

Heavy laden blanket

Of unrest.








How could I ever believe?

That I could live my life

Without your unbearable caress.


See you Bloom

I see you now

So filled with possibilities

My love

It hurts

When I see you suffer.


I want to see you bloom

Never want to see

The day

You wither and die

I want to give you


That I never had

Grow strong…


Then the plant

From which your seed fell.


Everyday I see you

Run in through that door.

I want to take you in my arms

And never let you go.

I want to play

If only I remembered how.

It’s been a long time

Since I visited that place.


I’d rather spend our days

The ones I have left with you

So little

Doing mundane

Little things

Just the two of us.



I want to see you bloom

Never want to see

The day

You wither and die

I want to give you


That I never had

Grow strong…


Then the plant

From which your seed fell.

Please just don’t grow

Too quickly

I’ll never have these days with you again.



Land of Forgoton Toys

Here I sit

In the Land of Forgotten Toys

A cheerful nightmare

We the People have created.

Nothing is sacred.


Sold to the highest bidder.




All just words we use

To close the deal.


Rules our world

And this is its afterlife.

Meaningless shells cast aside

From a gluttonous Republic.



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March 2013



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